*screams*
Some of you have probably read Tsing Yie's blog post about how she got owned three times in a row, first by a reptile less than 1% her size, and followed by an inanimate object, and then a dead, cooked animal. But to clear up some confusion, Elder Sis and everyone else is currently in Johor, leaving me at home.
Alone. So as I woke up earlier this morning, I vividly remember putting the bread tray into the sink the night before because I was too lazy to wash it then. So I walked over to the sink (half asleep) and absently put some dishwashing liquid into the sponge, wetting it up a little and proceeded to lower my hand into the sink where the bread tray was. Lower... Lower... And then I saw the most disturbing thing in the world. ... THERE WAS A BIG, FAT, UGLY LIZARD SLEEPING NICELY IN A CORNER OF THE TRAY! Ahh! Ahh! AAAAHHHHHHHH! *panics* I literally jumped away from the sink with the sponge still in my hand! Wth, what is a lizard doing in the bread tray? How did it get there? Why the heck is it there? What is it doing? wth wth wth wth wth -___-" And so I calmed myself. I thought the lizard must be stuck down there, the sink walls being slippery and all, so i tried to do it a favour. And hence Plan A. Plan A I got a plastic bag, and a long pair of chopsticks No one wants to touch an ugly lizard swt and I thought I'll shove the lizard into the bag and then let it learn how to fly outside behind my house. First try. Poked lizard. Lizard woke up and scrambled towards sink wall, slipped back down. Uh, okay. Let's try that again. Poke lizard with chopsticks. Note to Elder Sis: Don't tell mummy I used chopsticks! And it ran. In my direction! AAH! Jumped back again. Wait, it can't get out of the sink swt. So maybe the lizard does not take pleasure in being forced into a plastic bag by a pair of miniature wooden poles. So I tried a different approach. I turned of the tap on full blast, and I thought by filling up the sink, the lizard fill float up and climb out by itself! Plan B It's pure genius, I tell you. Very unfortunately, the genius is me, not the lizard. Just before it could reach the tip of the sink as the water was filling, the lizard fell back, and floated on the water surface upside down, immobile. After a few minutes of it not moving, I thought "Poor thing, must've died of exhaustion" And so I turned off the tap, and waited for the water to drain so that I could go along with Plan A and let the lizard rest in peace. Technically, sinks in my house don't drain that fast. So I decided on a game of Chia Bomber II before going back there. Then after 5 minutes, I went back, and true enough, the sink was drained. And to my utter horror, the lizard was sitting at the bottom of the sink, upright, with its HUGE BLACK EYES staring right at me! Scary, I tell you. Those of you who think that lizards are beautiful creatures and should not be harmed intentionally in any way, I suggest that you should off this browser now. Plan C So with nothing left to do, I thought to myself, "Let all things that are supposed to be dead, REMAIN DEAD!" NYAAAAHHH! I picked up the humongous bread tray (It was outside the sink now) and threw it right on top of the lizard in the middle of the sink! It crashed there with a satisfying sound that went something like *bang!* *clanggg* *whoom* *whoom* *whoom* Hohoho, no way the lizard could've survived that. Must've been comatosed, at the very least. But precautions first, so I tilted the bread tray off with the chopsticks. AND THE LIZARD WAS STILL ALIVE! Trump card! Most of you normal people would've been freaked out by the immortal lizard and would have called up the police already. But noo, I am too proud of my own abilities to do that. So I took a nice pail, and dumped it right on top the the lizard! Nyahahaha, let's see how you escape this one. So after a long hour of struggling, here comes the final score. Me-1; Lizard-0 I so own little reptiles less than 1% my size. | 
